Ok now I have seen everything. End of the year and you get the VC dressed in her action hero uniform, complete with mask to 'fall out' your ranks of super hero students and wish them well. Great parade, very amusing. I didn't think I would say this but I and a lot of other people will miss their antics.
I hear that your course for next year is already over subscribed and we haven't even opened selection. Well done.

Whilst this may not be the most technologically advanced institution in the world, and whilst I also agree that some of our more 'established' professorial staff could do with 'getting with it' in the IT department, and that banning weblogs might not be entirely a great idea, I don't think that describing the university's technology committee as 'having the technological insight of a glaciated woolly mammoth' is entirely accurate.

The comment about the committee having a Darlek's perspective on freedom of speech went a little over their heads as did repeating "exterminate exterminate" as you left the meeting.

"I don't think that during a public inter-university debate, when the VC disagrees passionately with the opposing VC about the aims of education, claping your hands slowly and shouting "Fight Fight", is quite the done thing."

Dear xxxxxx
You know that student I failed as the second assessor for plagiarism who then appealed and is threatening to take the university to court? She is claiming that we refused to mark her real dissertation after she had accidentally submitted the wrong work, even though it had somehow got her name on it and a signed plagiarism statement.

Well you know the supporting evidence she provided and the real dissertation she has now submitted?

Guess what? I did a little search and I have just found the same dissertation (word for word) bound in the library from a student who was awarded his MS.c 1998.

Just thought that you would like to know. I have the original in my office should you wish to see it. Oddly the library system showed that she 'borrowed' the document just last week.

Plato of the yard

"I wouldn't want to accuse you of cheating but it could be seen as suspicious the fact that over 70% of your students have been given first class honours marks for your course."

"Firstly they weren't given the marks. They earned them. Secondly unlike many other courses I have concentrated on developing critical thinking and argument not just stuffed them full of facts. If you would like to interview any of my students you are welcome. Additionally as you can see from the external examiners report 'this methodology has produced stunning results.' I wouldn't want you to accuse me of cheating either.
If I had been cheating getting only 70% of my students 1st class marks would mean the cheating wasn't very successful would it?"

I am sure that those anticipating becoming a perpetrator in Oxford must be quaking in their boots, on the assumption of course that their linguistic capability matches that of  the Dean of New College.   

Plato please don't tell anyone but I was on the campus late last night finishing a paper. There was a light on in the VC's office. When I looked she was standing in her office dressed in the superhero's uniform your student's gave her, holding her stomach in and puffing her chest out in front of the mirror in her office!

Someone has parked / left an old yellow digger, bulldozer, road roller and a very large road surfacing machine right outside of the front doors of the Department of Plant Sciences with a banner saying "A small donation to your research". Has anyone any idea who they belong to as we are keen that they collect them. As you may realise this department deals with a different type of plant.   

See this blog entry

Restricted Minutes
University Board Meeting - April 2008

Agenda Item

Prof. Dumbledaw reported that the report on the use of weblogs by university staff and students would be delayed. He reported that it had been brought to his attention just before this meeting by a member of staff that there may be some legal and ethical issues involved in restricting members of staff and students right to free speech. Prof. Dumbledaw will look into this issue before making an official report.

He also added that evidence has been brought to his attention that the restricted nature of these minutes may not mean that they are totally confidential to the university. Somehow the details of these minutes had found their way onto the internet. An investigation was underway to discover how this was happening. As a result the current minutes are somewhat truncated.

Dear plato,
The VC has become a bit of a hero with the students for wearing the suit they made for her. She is being greeted by students all over now where most didn't know who she was before. Although she is a bit uncertain as to how they got her measurements so correct, she is very pleased and you are flavour of the the month at the moment. She keeps using you as an example of good practice in teaching. Please don't do anything to bugger it up plato. Please.

Plato,
Tell me I am dreaming? Did I see the VC go to your lecture dressed as one of your super hero's? Are you for real? What was going on?

................................................................................................................................................................

Er Plato is this true that you got the Vice Chancellor to wear one of your suits, masks and capes? You are my hero.
Jane
....................................................................................................................................................................

You are mad! How the hell did you get the V.C. to wear that super hero suit???
...................................................................................................................................................................

Plato. They should make a statue of you. This is just too much! The V.C. in a mask and cape at your lecture? Hilarious. You are a legend.
...................................................................................................................................................................

Everyone is talking about what you did to the V.C. Amazing. You star.

RE: Head of Major Gifts
Plato your application for the role of Head of Major Gifts has been rejected. I suspect an application that simply reads

"Please give me the Head of Major Gifts Job as I could be my own first customer"

was always doomed to failure.

My suspicions have been confirmed. I suspected that your NASA proposal wasn't the only one. As you might expect your request for $40 million from the Pentagon has been rejected. They don't appear to need research that investigates how many Marines kept their teddy bears beyond the age of 15 and whether, to quote 'teddy bear ownership increases a Marines chances of promotion'.

Plato, was it necessary, that when Prince Charles visited the University and asked you what the Ambiguity Institute was about, to say

"If I knew that they wouldn't let me be the Director."

Then asking him "Would you mind awfully, informally and in keeping with the nature of the institute, declaring it both open and closed at the same time please. I promise we will put a non-plaque up in honour of your visit" didn't really help to clarify the situation either.

I have funny feeling you haven't heard the last of this encounter.

Dear Plato,
Please come and see me. HR have forwarded me the below risk assessment that you have submitted. They are concerned that your experiment might be and I quote "prejudicial to the fabric of the university", by which I think that they mean that they are worried that you will destroy it.

Risk Assessment

Name: Platothefish
Dept: Ambiguity and vagueness
Date: 01/04/08
Event: Experiment with home made particle accelerator and collider
Location or site: Lecture room B
Nature of Risk: Opening up a black hole during the experiment thereby destroying earth, oh and the solar system.
Who is affected?: Just the population of the planet
What has been done to minimise the risk?: I will keep the accelerator in a Tesco's plastic carrier bag.
Is a first aid trained member of staff available?: Will third aid do?
Is a fire marshal available?: No but the sheriff is in town
Has someone from HR H&S executive examined the risk: Not yet, but please do visit. If this goes wrong you will have approx .000000007 sec head start on the rest of the population.
Does the university insurance policy cover this event?: I'd like to see the policy small print.
Is travel involved? If so by what medium? Travel could well be involved, the medium being in particles and waves - I might need separation allowance for this one though.
Is your direct manager aware of this event and has he/she approved of the event?: I tried to tell him but he didn't believe me.
Have you received approved training for this event? I suppose because we are all made of stars the answer must be yes
Equipment being used: Particle accelerator / collider. Well actually it is two very large and powerful electrocatapults and a laser.
Aim of the event: To create an atomic vortex fast enough to create a blackhole, hopefully only momentarily. However as this hasn't been attempted before and I wanted to do it before CERN came on line, I can't guarantee that the effect might not last a little longer than expected nor grow faster than I will be able to react. If this does happen there is nothing to worry about. Literally there will be nothing to worry about - ever.

Will whoever keeps turning off the heating to the Global Warming Studies Group offices please desist. It is not funny - it takes about 4 hours to restart the heating every time which makes it usually too cold to work in the offices in the mornings.

Dear Plato,
Thank you for agreeing to run the debating chamber and resurrect the university debating society. The idea of having a university wide debate over a period of weeks both in the chamber and online is inspired and is welcomed by the board. I know that the advertising for this series of events was agreed by the board and the head of marketing, as well as the Vice-chancellor's office, however in retrospect, having seen your posters and online advertisements we would like you to remove the title and replace it with something a little more appropriate to the standing of this institution.

xxxxxxxxx Director of Academia

Plato,
You are mad, I can't believe that you are getting away with this. There are 1000's of posters around the place with big bold headings saying "Mass Debate". I nearly choked when I saw them.

Kath

Hi Plato,
Your 'Mass Debate' posters have become collectors items! Very funny.
Dan

Plato,
Thankyou for the report on the leadership of the school I asked for. It is very useful and thought provoking - excellent work, we clearly have some work to do. Just a minor issue - there is a consistent spelling error througout the report - you keep referring to the 'bored' meetings as opposed to the board meetings. Can you correct this please and then I will submit it.


Reply - it's not an error.

Plato please remove the blue light from the top of your car and the signs on it that says 'University Ambigulance' and 'Emergency Responsibility Vehicle'

Thank you.

The student's union and the lecturer's union have petitioned the university to complain about the proposed 'Oath of Loyalty Scheme'. It has also appeared on several department minutes for discussion at their next meetings. Please note that this is not an official scheme. Could all staff be aware and please inform their students that no such proposal exists at this university at this time.

See this news item ...

To: All Staff
From: Central Administration
Subject: Oath of allegiance.

In line with the Decree of Lord Goldsmith and Her Britannic Majesty's Government, as of the beginning of April all students and staff will be required to take an oath of allegiance to the university and the country. Special 'Oathing Ceremonies' will take place over a two week period at the start of next month. The proposed wording of the oath is as follows:

I (name of student or member of staff) do hereby swear that I will uphold the aims and objectives of the university without fear or favour. That I will, at all times support Her Majesty, the Vice-Chancellor and each decision made thereby. Additionally I swear that I will not question or importune Her Majesty or any senior member of the university nor engage in activities that cause any of the aforesaid superior members of our congregation any discomfort whatsoever.
Further I affirm that my loyalty will extend to all external activities and will illuminate the university's leadership only in the highest and most esteemed manner. I will also contribute financially, when necessary, to the university's upkeep and maintenance and keep the board in the manner to which it would like to become accustomed. Notwithstanding any of the aforementioned I will also be loyal to Her Majesty The Queen and stand between her and any of Her Majesty's, (the first Her Majesty) enemies.
I swear that I will also file all risk assessment forms as required without negative comment or criticism.

Signed

(Full name)

Please ensure that everyone is aware of the wording and is fluent before the university wide written exams at the end of March, just prior to the ceremonies.

xxxxxxxxxx Head of Administration

"Oh Hi Plato. While you are here I have a message from the VC. She will come to your first lecture after Easter to thank you and your students for their help with the pensioners lunch club. Between you and me she is a little suspicious about how the whole lunch club thing started and who placed the advert....

(Long silent pause)


Oh er, um, she would like to know if she has to wear the present the student's gave her when she comes to thank them? "

Oh I would think that it would be entirely appropriate.

"I'll tell her. I think that she is more than a little nervous but doesn't want to appear not to be a good sport, especially in front of your students....

er..

She has asked why she is saying thank you to over 120 students when you officially only have 34. Where did the rest come from?"

I don't know they just started to materialise

"Oh OK"

Tell her I look froward to seeing her in two weeks time in Lecture room B. It is a little packed in there at the moment but it will do her good to see. I am particularly looking forward to seeing her wearing her 'present'. The students put a lot of effort into it - you might like to mention that.


"Oh OK"

Have a good easter.

"Er yes thanks..."

"The V.C. would like to thank you and your students for their help and assistance on Saturday. Without you we would not have been able to serve the 117 pensioners that turned up. There have been many appreciative comments about the conduct of your 'super heroes' and their antics provided much entertainment."

That's nice - when would she like to do it?

"Sorry?"

When would the VC like to do it?

"Do what?"

Thank us

"She has"

I thought you say that she would like to thank us

"She would"

Great, when should I tell my class that she will come and thank them?

"I don't think that she meant..."

I think that she should - next month's Free Lunch Club might be even bigger or even involve some extras.

"Er..."

I'll leave it with you, please give her a map to the lecture rooms for me and a copy of our schedule. We will look forward to the thank you. Oh and the class have asked me to give this to the V.C. could you please pass it on.

"Um... what's in the bag?"

I have no idea

"Oh ... er oh dear"

Bye

Restricted Minutes
University Board Meeting - March 2008
...
Agenda Item
Item: Weblogs by students and members of staff.
Sponsor: Professor Dumbledaw Head of Hackademic Standards
Proposal: To issue a set of standards for weblog and other internet publishing

It has come the the notice of the board that a number of students and staff are publishing things called weblogs (known colloquially as blog's). These are free text unsupervised articles that are gaining in popularity in the internet especially with the younger element of our society. Our working party on internet use within the university uncovered a number of these weblogs which we discovered are open documents in as much that anyone who has a computer with internet access can read them without restriction.
Most weblogs are inconsequential, just being a private diary of thoughts, or photographs of the young people having a good time.
However we have uncovered a few weblogs that are potentially damaging to the standing of the university. One in particular, we have discovered, is written by a member of staff and has a large following. Whilst humerous in nature, it does not cast a very positive light on the university and in particular the leadership of this institution and is nefarious in deed. Due to the access to the level of information this individual (who goes by the internet pseudonym of platothefish) appears to have, he or she is not a junior member of staff. It is not thought that this individual has access to the highest levels of data like our board minutes for example, so we assume that he or she is an academic and not of senior management grading.
In the light of the government developing new rules for such activities with civil servants we would like to propose that the board draw up a set of regulations for our own students and staff to abide by.

It was carried that a draft set of publishing standards would be presented to the next board meeting in April by Prof. Dumbledaw.



For the news about restrictions by the government on it's own civil serpents see here.

Me thinks that the board have forgotten something... stay tuned. However it must be nice to know that your restricted minutes are safe from 'such nefarious deeds'.

Platothefish,
The Vice-Chancellor would like thank your class for volunteering to a person to help with the Free Pensioners Lunch Club. Oddly they appear to have a fantastic plan prepared. Anyway the V.C. is a little concerned and has asked me to have a quiet word with you. Do they have to wear their superhero suits to this event? Whilst we need the help and really appreciate their involvement we don't think that the suits are exactly the image the V.C. is trying project with her innovation.
Would you mind having a word with them please. Also I though that you only had 30(ish) students. There are over 100 names on this 'Plato's Group' list. Do they all wear the suits??

Diana

Hi Diana,
I had a word with them. It was 'Congratulations'. I am sure the suspense of their attire will add to the event and the V.C's new found reputation for creativity. See you on Saturday!
Platothefish

Three days ago: Tuesday...

To: All staff
From V.C.'s Office

Subject: Unofficial Invitations - In confidence

We have been receiving phone calls all morning from dozens and dozens of Old Aged Pensioners booking places for 'The Free University Lunch Club' in the Vice-Chancellor's conference room on Saturday. It would appear that an advertisement has appeared in the local papers inviting any Pensioner's on state benefit to a free meal every month, sponsored by the V.C..!
This is not an official advert and has not come from this office although it carries our logo. Does anyone know anything about this "initiative"? The University does not get involved in such 'local stunts', which harms our academic reputation and high standing and we need to discover who placed this advertisement. If it is discovered that a member of the staff or student body had brought the university into disrepute in this way, they will be disciplined.

Today (Friday):
To: All staff
From: Vice Chansellor
Subject: New University Community Initiative
The University is proud to announce an innovative free 'Lunch Club' once a month for local Old Aged Pensioners who are on minimum state pensions. This is new Vice Chancellor's initiative to foster closer relationships with the local community. Anyone who would like to assist with this please contact the admin office. The first lunch club will take place tomorrow (Saturday) in the V.C.'s reserved conference room in the Old Hall. The V.C.'s department is funding all the costs to enhance further our outstanding reputation with the local community, our relationship with which is of the highest importance. We are sure that you will join with us to congratulate Professor xxxxxxxxxx (the V.C.) on this important and creative initiative.

"Why are all your Superheroes walking around in 4's today?"

"Plato, the campus is full of your caped crusaders - what's going on?"

"Just how many students do you have? There are piles of masked and caped people walking about this morning. They all appear to be in groups of 4 - what are you up to?"

"Ha ha very funny, 4 of your students dressed in their famous black suits, masks and red capes just turned around as I approached. You are going to be in soooo much trouble Plato. God I love you! I am in pain here I am laughing so much"

"I have just followed 4 of your students across the campus. Each one has a different letter in white on their capes. The way they were arranged the letters spelled out the word A.R.S.E. What is going on?"

"Oh no! The Institute of Ambiguity, Risk and Situational Experience! I get it. I think it's very funny but I wouldn't want to be you when the VC finds out what he has signed off."

"Plato - please come to my office - I think we need to discuss the naming of this Institute of yours. I knew this would be trouble. What on earth the Senate thought it was doing giving you something like an institute to play with I will never know."

Platothefish.

How the **** did you get them to agree to letting you set up an institute in the university? I am amazed. Well done but does this mean that you going to get all serious and boring on us?

....Ahhh I have just looked out of the office window and I think I have my answer! That is a very large banner you have there.

Have they worked out the impact of what you have called it yet? The School of Management is refered to as SOM, the School of Military Sciences is called SMS but do you really think that they are going to let you name it the Institute of

Ambiguity, Risk, and Situational Experiences???

Very funny.

Does 'Welcome to the party' mean that we are we really all invited to a party?

John

It would not be a 'giggle' as you put it to leave it unnamed.

'Ambiguity Towers' is out too

No nor can you call it 'Fort Ambiguity', no not even if you attach 'the bronx' to the title.

No you can not call it the Institute of the Uncertain and yes it has to have an address.

"Well you managed to get agreement to set up an Institute despite my protests... I really don't think calling it The Vague Institute will wash however."

"The School of Military Sciences should not be referred to as the Institute of Dispatching the Queens Enemy's."

"The University Security Service should not be referred to as 'The S.S.'."

"A fully signed up and cordoned off minefield has appeared overnight on the lawn outside the HR offices.

The University Security Service (The S.S.) are a little nervous about removing the signs and have called The Land Mines Group from the School of Military Sciences who are investigating. Please do not go near the building at this moment in time."

...from the morning briefing

This has got to stop Plato. A large group (about 20 -30 it was difficult to count them) of people (Students I hope and yours I presume) in masks, black suits and red capes visited the security office this morning offering them 'protection' against 'bad things' like burglaries.

The University Security Service are not happy bunnies at the moment as it is.

They have just discovered that the remaining crime prevention materials stolen during the break in last week were distributed to every Head of Department over the weekend. The mode of distribution was somewhat unorthodox. Someone broke into each HoD's office and left the material on their desks. We suspect that entry was gained with a set of keys as no damage was done and the USS didn't notice anything. The only area of the university that has such access is... you guessed it, the University Security Service.

A review of security is being undertaken by the Deputy Vice-Chancellor. I have a funny feeling you may well be co-opted into the review.

10 AM

To: all staff
From: xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx Head of University Computing

Anti Porn Filters

WE have been working hard to provide protection on the University wide network from pornography and pornographic images and spam. We are proud to announce that this morning we have instigated a new software solution which uses advanced algorithms to identify the percentage of flesh tones in any image. We have thoroughly tested this solution and we are confident it will provide the protection required. It will also prevent staff and students from accidentally accessing pornographic websites.


1020 AM

We have agreed to exempt the social sciences division from the Anti Porn Filter as they are currently conducting research on the effect of pornography in society.

1040 AM

The Law faculty has been exempt from the Anti Porn Filter as they are apparently conducting research for the government and police on pedophile online behaviour.

1105 AM

We have lifted the Anti Porn Filter from the Department of Agriculture as the filter was preventing images and websites of pigs being accessed.

1120 AM

The department of Art has also been exempted from the Anti Porn Filter as it was preventing them accessing art installations and photographs.

1130 AM

Graphic design has also had the Anti Porn Filter removed from it's area of the network because of it's work on avatar design.

1135 AM

As the internal discussion pages are predominantly pink we have had to lift the Anti Porn Filter from these pages as it was causing problems for users.


....

As you may all know, yesterday the university had a series of areal photographs taken of each campus for publicity purposes. The proofs were delivered today and on the main campus photographs, in one of the Department of Agriculture's fields, large white letters were apparent on the ground which read 'Crime pays'. In the next field were the words 'More than educashun'.
When the security staff were sent to investigate and remove the letters, they found that the letters had been formed out of the stolen crime prevention materials from the break-in at their office a few days ago.
On their return to the security office they discovered that it had been broken into yet again and the computer and phone that had previously been stolen had been returned. It is not known if anything else is missing. This all occurred in broad daylight earlier today. If anyone has any information please contact the security office, you can now do so by telephone or email.

Thank you

Plato when you have a moment can you come and see me please.

We have just had a letter from NASA rejecting a research proposal you apparently submitted a couple of months ago with the title of 'Measurement of supernova background radiators with particular reference to spring theory' asking for $12 million research funds.
Apart from suggested typographical errors like spring instead of string etc they appear to have been particularly concerned and exercised by the fact that the section about observatory equipment required comprises of, and I quote:

"1 x 12 inch plastic ruler.
1 x 200 inch deeply spaced reflector kaleidoscope
1 x small pocket notebook
2 x pencils (HB)"

I think we need to talk.

In confidence

Last night the university security office was broken into. A computer, telephone and 3 boxes of crime prevention materials were stolen. If anyone saw anything suspicious last night please report it to the security office in person as they can't receive phone calls or emails at the present time.

You may have noticed a fracas by the front gates involving the workmen who have been digging a service trench for the last week.

The workmen arrived this morning to continue their work to find a letter taped to their hut. The contents of the letter said that some students dressed as police officers would try to get them out of the hole as a prank.

It would appear that someone then phoned the police and said some students, who were pretending to be workmen, were digging up the road as a prank.

The incident lasted just over an hour before it was resolved.

Any information ....

Just a thought - you can meet me by coming to one of my spiffing workshops on the 4th March in Fleet Street in London. Look here

"No you may not start your own institute"
"I don't care whether you do have a great name for it"
"Nor a natty logo either"
"Citing the tenet of academic freedom won't change my mind"
"Nor will the fact that when you mentioned it to the Vice Chancellor's and the College Principles wives at the College Dinner dinner last night they said they would back it"
"No, uniforms will not help"
"I don't care what they look like or what colours they come in"
"I am sure that you will get lots of students, you seem to be good at collecting those, the answer is still no."
"Please get up off my floor"
"How much for what?"
"No you can't bribe me - that's not enough anyway"
"No"
"Where are you going to get funding from???"
"Er I don't think...., look if you can get it then good luck to you"
"I have nothing against the Samaritans, I just don't think that they will fund a research institute into career suicides in academia."
"What??? Are you serious? Hang on let me look, I do hope that you are joking...."
"Oh bloody hell! How the f*** did you get this put on the Senate Papers for next week??"
"What people in high places???"
"Oh no.......I feel ill"

Dear Dr. Platothefish

Thank you for your suggestions and interest in the 'Partner University' scheme as per the Vice-Chancellor's memo of 2nd February 2008.

Under the category 'Partner in an Under Developed Country' the steering committee decided that your suggestion of Harvard University did not suit the category.

Under the category of 'Twin Partner - the university most allied to our current structure and purpose', the committee decided that the University of Baghdad might not be a suitable choice.

We thank you for your interest in the scheme and hope that you don't see this as a rejection of your ideas, but rather as a consequence of very high standards of suggestions received by the committee.


"I hadn't considered that this might be a rejection until you mentioned it"

Whilst I can probably guess the answer to this, would someone mind telling me who was it that convinced the university Chaplin that it might be a good idea to offer baptisms in the fish pond this summer during the graduation ceremony? I know that he was accused of a lack of creativity in the university newspaper by some students last month but this is not good.

His 'creative idea,' that he has apparently been told by a "source close to the staff" 'has the backing of a large number of members of staff' is currently on agenda for the next Senate meeting.
Removing the paper will cause offence as will refusal. As you can see this puts the Senate in a difficult situation...

In response to your email, no you cannot be allocated a larger lecture room. The one you are in holds over 120 students. You, officially at least, only have about 35 on your course.
I was going to ask where all the others have come from, but I don't think I would like the answer.

Your 'super heroes' have just cleaned and weeded half of the garden area outside of the VC's office block. There is a neat line down the centre of the lawn and flower beds. One side is neat and clean and the other side is a mess. Can you enlighten me as to the reason for this? Are we going to have to do the other half?
Plato please, please tell us what is going on. It is driving me demented. People all over the campus are talking about this. PLEASE tell us.

"Welcome home. Whilst you were in Riyadh nothing happened. Just thought that you might like to know that a couple of people mentioned it. Well when I say nothing, that's nothing except lots of super heroes doing good deeds. What is that about? "


"Lot's of Super heroes?"


"Yes they appear to be replicating. I keep trying to count them but they won't stand still long enough! I asked one how many there were and she just shrugged. Please tell me what's going on. I won't tell anyone, I promise"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Defiantly, yes."

"Good, well done"

"Sorry?"

"Well done, there aren't many people who can. You know what?"

"What?"

"I can keep a secret as well"

To: Platothefish,
From: Head of Registry
Subject: Student numbers
Text: Hi Plato. I don't want this to become a big issue nor do I really want to appear on your blog. However we have heard that you are teaching students that are not enrolled on your course. Can you confirm if this is indeed the case as it has repercussions in terms of student registrations, fees , risk assessments etc. etc.

xxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Head of Registry

Dear xxxxxxxxxx
Can I just ask a question before I answer? As the lecture rooms are provided for students educational purposes what would happen if some students decided to extend their education by staying behind after their lecture? Further would your answer change if they stayed behind whilst another lecture was happening if they were not being disruptive. Also what if some students (as happens) got lost and ended up in the wrong lecture but decided to stay? Also...

Platothefish


Dear Plato,
I was afraid of this. I suppose the answer, if this is what is happening, nullifies any concerns. However if it occurred systematically it could be a problem. Thank you.

xxxxxxxxx

Platothefish
I know that your expertise is Ambiguity but would you mind putting the campus out of it's misery. Why were 70-80 students all dressed in black suits masks and red capes marching as a military body through the campus to your lecture room this morning? Also I thought that you had 35 students. You now appear to be teaching at least double that. What's going on?

xxxxxxxxxxxx Head of School

I doubt I can put the campus out of it's misery. That would likely take copious quantities of barbiturates or some other such overdose.


As for the student numbers I hadn't noticed. I will endevour to look up next time I teach and count them.