"It's been quite quiet around here with you not around. I quite missed your lively banter and I know that your students are glad to have you back. I think it does places like this good to get shaken up now and then - and you certainly get people thinking, anyway welcome back, er can I ask has the large sign outside the main gates got anything to do with you?"
General email: 'A large sign (approximately 8 foot high by 14 feet long) has appeared near the campus main gates. Whilst it is not on university property if anyone has any information about why it might be there and what it's meaning is could you inform the HR office so that we can take the appropraite action. We just wondered if it was some art project. Could lecturers' inform us of such stunt's in the future.'
"Platothefish we love it, please tell us it was you - welcome back" - some students by email
"Dear Platothefish if the sign was your doing get rid of it pronto - I think that you are in enough trouble as it is"
"Hi Plato, Where did you get the poem from (I assume it was you wasn't it)? I want a copy - masterpiece - welcome back"
"You are out to lunch old bean - fantastic, I couldn't agree more - just never had the balls to say it - not like that anyway. Good luck I think you'll need it if they find out it was you (I assume it was as you arrive back and the next morning that appears), classic."
"A large poem has appeared near the university, could all staff make enquiries to discover if any of our students are involved. We have asked the local council to have it removed, it does the university no good having it in such a prominent position."
Local radio "The students at Xxxxxxxx University must be having a prank. A strange cryptic and large, nay very large board about 10 feet high and at least 15 feet wide has appeared on the roadside where all the traffic passing the university is slowing down to read it. The sign says in very large letters
"ACADEMIC FREEDOM" and then there is a poem in equally large letters under it:
"Freedom means that you are free to do whatever pleases you,
that is of course, which means to say is what you wish is what you may"
We have been trying to work out what it means. If you have any ideas please contact us at Radio ...