"Philip in his studies this year has shown a level of academic consistency and achievement rarely discovered in first year undergraduate students. Given that Philip is actually a postgraduate student and further given his natural ability to turn even the simplest of experiments into life threatening events I would recommend a career in which he will be handling wholly stable and inert materials. Indeed he could be described as a star in the field of chemistry; distant and rarely to be seen during daylight. I believe the term is no longer 'failed' so I therefore recommend 'deferred success'. In this case deferment should mean a minimum of 7-10 years with no parole for good behaviour."

-Platothefish you may want to reconsider the contents of this report.

- Reconsidered - it stands. Platothefish.