"No you may not start your own institute"
"I don't care whether you do have a great name for it"
"Nor a natty logo either"
"Citing the tenet of academic freedom won't change my mind"
"Nor will the fact that when you mentioned it to the Vice Chancellor's and the College Principles wives at the College Dinner dinner last night they said they would back it"
"No, uniforms will not help"
"I don't care what they look like or what colours they come in"
"I am sure that you will get lots of students, you seem to be good at collecting those, the answer is still no."
"Please get up off my floor"
"How much for what?"
"No you can't bribe me - that's not enough anyway"
"No"
"Where are you going to get funding from???"
"Er I don't think...., look if you can get it then good luck to you"
"I have nothing against the Samaritans, I just don't think that they will fund a research institute into career suicides in academia."
"What??? Are you serious? Hang on let me look, I do hope that you are joking...."
"Oh bloody hell! How the f*** did you get this put on the Senate Papers for next week??"
"What people in high places???"
"Oh no.......I feel ill"