Friday, March 14, 2008

Three days ago: Tuesday...

To: All staff
From V.C.'s Office

Subject: Unofficial Invitations - In confidence

We have been receiving phone calls all morning from dozens and dozens of Old Aged Pensioners booking places for 'The Free University Lunch Club' in the Vice-Chancellor's conference room on Saturday. It would appear that an advertisement has appeared in the local papers inviting any Pensioner's on state benefit to a free meal every month, sponsored by the V.C..!
This is not an official advert and has not come from this office although it carries our logo. Does anyone know anything about this "initiative"? The University does not get involved in such 'local stunts', which harms our academic reputation and high standing and we need to discover who placed this advertisement. If it is discovered that a member of the staff or student body had brought the university into disrepute in this way, they will be disciplined.

Today (Friday):
To: All staff
From: Vice Chansellor
Subject: New University Community Initiative
The University is proud to announce an innovative free 'Lunch Club' once a month for local Old Aged Pensioners who are on minimum state pensions. This is new Vice Chancellor's initiative to foster closer relationships with the local community. Anyone who would like to assist with this please contact the admin office. The first lunch club will take place tomorrow (Saturday) in the V.C.'s reserved conference room in the Old Hall. The V.C.'s department is funding all the costs to enhance further our outstanding reputation with the local community, our relationship with which is of the highest importance. We are sure that you will join with us to congratulate Professor xxxxxxxxxx (the V.C.) on this important and creative initiative.

No comments: